The Hentai Lord
by Kanna37
Summary: The girl's are bathing - but what's this? Someone's peeping, and it's not Miroku or Inuyasha this time. And Shippo sets someone up for a bit of a fall... can anyone guess who? Rated for language and suggestive themes.


**The Hentai Lord**

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Inuyasha. I am only admitting this under duress. Now that I have, I am going back into my hentai closet to sulk. If Takahashi-sensei is feeling generous, maybe she will send me one of my favorite youkai to play with. One can always hope.

---oOo---

Sesshoumaru sighed.

It had been some time since he'd seen a female that was even worthy of being in his sight - there just weren't very many attractive ones out there anymore. Youkai females were becoming rare, and ningens were, well, ningens. Most looked old before their time, and smelled bad to boot. He idly wondered why they seemed so afraid of bathing.

Bathing. _Hmm..._

That brought a visual into his mind of two females that were perfectly acceptable to ogle - his half-brother's wench, and her companion, the monk's woman. Both were attractive, and very clean - his brother's woman was almost obssessive about bathing... and he had snuck up and watched them bathe a few times before just to enjoy her particular scent. The best thing about her was her scent, for an inu, scent was even more important than sight, and she delighted that sense. Of course, the visual didn't hurt, either.

Maybe it was time to go travel with them for a little while - beyond the need to stare at some acceptable female flesh, there was Rin to consider. She always loved meeting up with his brother's pack, it gave her another child to play with, and also adequate female companionship for a time.

_Yes... I will meet up with Inuyasha and his companions. The benefits at this time outweigh the disadvantage - namely being in Inuyasha's presence. Ah, well, _he sighed, _nothing is ever perfect._

Lifting his head, he stuck his nose into the wind and scented it, looking for the miko's attractive scent. As soon as he caught it, he turned and led his little group in that direction.

He would enjoy driving his brother nuts. He always made sure to let his brother know that he was watching his female - getting him all riled up just added another point to the advantages.

After all, it was a well-known fact that he enjoyed _anything_ that pissed his brother off.

---oOo---

Inuyasha stopped abruptly, and tilting his head, sniffed into the oncoming breeze, before letting out a sigh of irritation.

"Damn... figures that bastard would pick now to show up - I'll get my groping chances in, but with him, there's always a downside," he mumbled, low enough that only Miroku would hear.

He passed his friend a slightly confused expression. "Who, Inuyasha? And what downside?"

He shot Miroku a look. "Keh. My damn brother, that's who. And the downside is that, even though he always brings with him a lot of opportunites for me to touch my girl, he is also a nasty hentai himself - he isn't averse to staring at_ both _our girls - and if he gets the slightest chance, he may even do a little constructive 'brushing'. With him, it's a mixed bag, a good side, and a bad side."

Miroku's eyes widened, then narrowed in annoyance. "So what do we do about it?"

"Nothing, bouzo. In this case, we take what we can get. Sesshoumaru isn't really interested in them seriously, and, like I said, we'll get our chances from his presence, and truth to tell, if he puts his hands on them, the girls'll put him in his place. _You_ know they're capable of that, now don't you, Miroku?"

He sighed. "Yes."

"Keh. Just follow my lead, bouzo."

Raising his voice, and turning his head over his shoulder, he hollared out, "Oi, Kagome! Looks like that bastard of a brother of mine is on his way, so get ready. Who knows what the hell he wants _this_ time?"

---oOo---

Kagome yelled back up to the irritated hanyou, "Whatever, Inuyasha. Why are you always so suspicious? He hasn't tried to take Tessaiga in like - forever, duh. It'll be fine!" She giggled behind her hand at his annoyed muttering, and lowering her voice, she said softly to Sango, "Besides, I know what he wants. He's coming by for his monthly peep show, you know, when we bathe..."

Sango choked, and almost fell over when she heard her friend. _"What!? _You mean, he watches us bathe... and you _let him??!_ " Flushing a beet red, she asked, "Kagome, how _could_ you?"

She chuckled. "And just how do you think I'm gonna stop him? I dare you to even try to _find_ him... I can always feel his presence, but I can never pinpoint it - and he won't leave till he gets what he came for, so there's no point in trying to wait him out. I told you before he's as much a hentai as his brother - only he's sneakier. Inuyasha doesn't even know he watches us in the hot springs." Kagome's expression settled into one of placid superiority. "Of course, it goes without saying that I'm even sneakier than he is but..."

Sango continued to stare at her friend with a horrified look on her face. "I don't know if I can handle this, Kagome. I think I felt better when I didn't know," she cried softly, not wanting the boy's to overhear. "How embarrassing! I mean, it's _Lord Sesshoumaru! _He _hates_ humans! I just can't believe it..." she trailed off into silence.

Kagome laughed outright. "I warned you, Sango. There's no such thing as an innocent male! Youkai or ningen, it makes no difference."

Shippo snickered into his tiny hands. _You have no idea how right you are, momma... I'm sooo gonna get all of you guys, just you wait. _

_It's revenge for corrupting my innocent little mind._

He laughed. _Yeah, right._

---oOo---

In the end, Sesshoumaru stayed with the group for five days, and by the time he deigned to leave, both Inuyasha and Miroku were ready to fall apart. Despite getting numerous chances for groping their women, the youkai Lord's presence made both males very jumpy - of course, no guy likes competition for their chosen female, and so both were actually happy to see him leave.

As they walked sedately away from Inuyasha's group, Rin skipped up to walk beside her Lord, and smiling brightly up at him, asked, "Lord Sesshoumaru? What is a h-hentai?" He looked down at the girl, wide-eyed for a moment, before forcibly plastering his usual stoic expression back on.

"Where did you hear that word, Rin?"

"Shippo told me. He said that you are a hentai, but when I asked him what he meant, he said to ask you." She frowned thoughtfully. "He did say it had to do with bathing, my Lord." She looked up again innocently. "So... what is a hentai?"

Sesshoumaru swallowed hard and considered the many ways to kill a kitsune.

---oOo---

A/N: I dunno... I could just see Shippo setting Sesshoumaru up like that - the visual in my head is actually pretty hilarious. And of course, Rin's sweet little innocent face as she pops out with a question like that... Ja Ne!

Amber


End file.
